


Affair

by EddieFook



Series: Quickie!verse [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cheating, Dean is lost, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Smut, Frantic Sex, Hurt, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Married!Dean, Sex, affair, dean hates his life, destiel smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-24 01:35:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7488249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EddieFook/pseuds/EddieFook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas knows he needs to stop. He can't keep hooking up and seeing that wedding ring over and over again. But he can't stop saying yes, and how can he when he fell in love with the man the first time he saw him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Affair

**Author's Note:**

> So this may or may not be a part of a story arch so you might see these characters again ;)

The bed creaked and the whole motel room smelled but Cas couldn’t find it in himself to care. The room was darkened, the only light coming from a flashing neon sign on the other end of the parking lot. He pulled his phone out and sent off a quick text and tried to calm his nerves.

His brother was going to kill him if he found out Cas was here again.

His sister said that he was too good for this.

Forget his siblings, Sam was going to kill them both.

But Cas could hardly care.

He jumped up when the lock clicked and the door opened, suddenly the musty smell in the room was gone and the entire place filled with cloves and cinnamon and leather.

“Hey,” Dean kicked the door shut and threw the deadbolt home and they both crashed into one another. The kiss was frantic and consuming and Cas moaned when Dean yanked at his hair to expose his neck.

“Yes, Dean,” Cas sighed as he felt a bite and nibble at his pulse point. His eyes caught on the wedding ring on Dean’s finger and he quickly shut his vision off from that.

They walked backwards to the bed, Dean marking up Cas’s neck and Cas adoring it like he was one of those _Twilight_ junkies. He started working on Dean’s shirt and then pants, when his shirt was pulled off Dean’s mouth went back up to Cas’s lips and their tongues started a fierce battle as hands rummaged and ran through hair. Blindly they fumbled with their belts and pants and Cas groaned when he felt himself turned and pushed onto the mattress. He instantly got to all fours and groaned when Dean started fingering him.

“Sorry, not much time,” Dean grunted. He found the travel lube in his pocket and slicked his fingers up and in no time Cas was moaning and pushing back on four fingers.

“I’m ready, please,” Cas panted and he groaned when strong hands gripped the skin between his hips and thighs and Dean slammed in hard. “Yes, fuck yes Dean.” He moaned and got even louder as Dean set a brutal pace. Secretly Cas hated these fast sessions because it meant Dean had so little time, but then on the other hand… he loved the feeling of being spilt apart and the entirely boneless feeling of being so thoroughly fucked.

“So good,” Dean mumbled as he kept a strong grip on Cas’s hips and he watched himself pound a perfect ass.

“Not going to, ah!” Cas arched his neck when Dean found his prostate. Dean bent himself forward and started swiping at Cas’s cock and it was all over. Cas yelled and clenched down, milking all of Dean’s cum with his own.

“Fuck,” he panted and lay on one side. Dean flopped down on the other side of the wet spot and lay on his back looking up at the ceiling. They panted and said not a word for a while before their breath was caught and Dean started looking for his clothes.

“Do you have to leave?” Cas hated himself for sounding so needy. This was an affair, what was he expecting for Dean to say he was going to leave his wife because he had fallen in love with the man who had popped his gay cherry? Dean did not love him, and Cas needed to get that through his head. He was a dirty motel mattress, and a way to get Dean off.

“I wish…” Dean looked at the bed as if it was all he wanted, but then his phone went off and he scrambled to get it.

Cas went to the bathroom.

He stayed in there, doing nothing but waiting for Dean to say goodbye.

“Lisa good?” He was a total bastard for bringing that up. Damn he needed to stop seeing Dean fucking Winchester. Not that he was even seeing the man, he was a fuck toy, an outlet, and he needed to get that through his head.

“That was um…” Dean ran a hand through his hair. “I feel like shit,” he sat on the bed and Cas went over and sat next to him.

“We can stop,” he said softly.

“Not that, I don’t feel like shit about this, well I do but…” Dean idly played with the phone in his hand. “Never mind, I gotta go. You free this weekend? Lisa has this thing…” and _hell_ Cas should say no. He should say no and go out to a bar and find a fantastic lay who is not married and who would one day potentially be open to dating, in public.

“Yeah I’m free all weekend.” He was so fucking gone on Dean fucking Winchester.

“Awesome,” Dean smiled and leaned in to kiss Cas tenderly. “Your place?” Cas nodded. “I’ll text you,” Dean kissed him again and Cas forgot his siblings, his potential murder and just leaned into the smell and taste of Dean.

***

“Let me guess you’re canceling because of _Dean_.” Gabe spat the name.

“No, I just feel the flu coming on, and I have a massive deadline, I think my editor might just make good on his promise and follow me around the house until I finish the next book.” Cas lied, he played with the phone cord like he was in middle school and then crossed his fingers praying that Gabe would believe his lie. “Besides, I haven’t seen Dean in a week. Trying to go cold turkey, you know?”

“Cas…” Gabe’s voice softened maybe this would work. “You’re a terrible liar.” And maybe it wouldn’t. “He’s _married_ he said the vows, bought the house, he has a wedding anniversary. I’m sorry to be harsh baby bro but they never leave their spouse for the mistress.” Cas made a face and tried to ignore the twisting in his gut. “I hate that I have to speak like this, but he’s never going to leave his wife for you, man. He might say he will but he’s never gonna do it. You’re just a cock and a fun break from the boring marriage. Once she finds out or when he gets a conscience it’ll be over.”

“I know.” Damn Cas’s betraying voice for sounding so small and vulnerable.

“Cas…”

“Oh that’s the other line, I think it’s Sam talking about my contract.” He hung up before Gabe could say any more and then slammed his head onto his desk. Nothing Gabe had said was new to Cas. He’d already thought of every point before. Usually when he was left in a motel room and Dean as on his way back to his married and perfect house. But he couldn’t help it. he was in love with Dean Winchester.

They’d met six months ago a t a coffee house. Cas was doing a poetry reading, and Sam, Cas’s agent, had dragged his brother along for a night of free booze and for another body to fill the room. and Cas’s heart had stopped. Seriously it had felt like someone had reached into his chest and stopped his entire body when he caught green eyes looking at him. His breathing hitched and he forgot the next word he was supposed to be reading and he couldn’t get off the stage fast enough.

Afterword he hung on Dean’s every word and before they knew it they were sucking face behind the bar and rubbing one off on each other like they were teenagers.

And Cas had tried to care about the ring. He tried to tell himself he was better than a mistress or a clichéd affair in a seedy motel, but every time Dean called or texted he couldn’t stop himself from saying yes.

This weekend would be his last. He would have a great sex-a-thon with Dean and then it would be goodbye and he would go out and find himself a real relationship.

***

**Two months later.**

“That was good,” Dean rolled off Cas and lay beside him.

“Yes, I think you going to the gym has made an improvement.” Dean chuckled but still inched Cas on the side.

“How’s the book going?”

“Mmm nearly finished. Sam has a huge tour lined up for me. Three months,” he looked over at Dean who nodded but said nothing. They had been spending more and more time together after sex, usually just lying next to one another on the bed, still naked, and under the guise that they were going to have sex again. But over the last two weeks after the sex had been had they would spend the rest of the night talking. Neither wanted to say that the tour would be good to get them space, that perhaps this would be the perfect time for a clean break.

***

**3 Months Later.**

Cas was exhausted. He’d not seen his bed in forever and he was ready to fall down on it and sleep for a week. The tour had been exhausting. And now there was nothing like falling asleep on your own pillow after three months of springy hotel mattresses and funny smelling sheets.

“Uh, hey.” Dean was leaning against his door and Cas nearly dropped his keys. He hadn’t forgotten for one second how beautiful Dean was or how astounding his voice sounded, but they’d been good, the tour had been their break and Dean was not supposed to be standing in front of his door now looking like someone had kicked his puppy at the same time hoping that Cas could heal it.

“Hey how did you…Sam.”

“Well he said that he was back so I figured…”

“Yeah…You wanna come in for a beer?” Dean nodded and Cas opened the door. They got his bags in and Cas grabbed two beers from the fridge. He hated his hands for shaking but he was starting to feel good without Dean...no that was bull shit, he felt like _crap_ without Dean and he hated himself for it. he needed to get away from this man but he didn’t want to. Oh hell he really didn’t want to.

“So…” Cas sipped his beer and Dean did the same.

“Lisa wants kids,” Dean wouldn’t look at him but instead sipped his beer and looked at the coffee table.

“Ok,” Cas was going to be as neutral as he could, he wasn’t going to show that his heart had just shattered into a thousand pieces.

“And you know what my first thought was? I want kids,” Dean closed his eyes and emotions started to overwhelm him. “But I don’t know if I want them with her. I mean…” he set his beer down and threw his face in his hands. Cas stayed where he was, he was going to let Dean have an outlet but he felt if he touched the man they’d be naked and solving no problems. “I hate my life.” Dean said softly.

Cas took another sip of his beer. It hadn’t all been frantic sex between them. When he could Dean would have dinner at Cas’s place and they’d talk about art and music and movies and their jobs, though it was rare for Dean to get so personal.

“I mean I really hate it, I hate my job, I hate the man it’s made me. I hate that the only conversations I have with my wife any more are about money and I hate what I’m doing to you.” Cas felt icy cold run through his veins until he couldn’t feel the beer in his hand or the couch he was sitting on. “I hate that I’m so unfair to you, that you have this half-man strung to you and I hate that I can’t hold your hand out in the open. I hate every time I leave your side and I hate that I’ve never woken up to you before.” Dean sighed heavily. “I don’t know who I am anymore.” He said softly.

They sat in silence and listened to the clock tick for an hour before Dean shook his head and stood.

“Sorry I dumped this shit on you,” he looked down at Cas. “You won’t see me again.”

“Dean,” Cas rose and he stood awkwardly right in front of the man he’d fallen in love with at first sight. “I…I want to see you again,” he looked at the floor. “But, I um, want you happy. I want you happy with your life, because you are the most amazing man I’ve met and you deserve to be happy.”

“I don’t know what to do.” Dean crumpled and Cas caught him. He held the man as he cried into his shoulder and just petted his hair softly.

“You have to find out what makes you happy.” Cas said after Dean had calmed. “You said you hated your job, quit. You hate your life, move.” He couldn’t bring himself to mention Lisa or himself.

“I…” Dean looked in Cas’s eyes and Cas saw the spark of something behind the dark green. “I…” Dean looked down, “Can I spend the night?” Cas nodded and pulled Dean by the hand back to the bedroom.

There was no light in the bedroom except the soft blue moonlight coming through the curtains but Cas didn’t need the light to find Dean’s lips and kiss slowly. They wrapped up in one another and Cas gave to Dean more than he’d ever done in the past. This was more than their one night stands or frantic coupling in seedy motels, this was Cas opening his soul and letting Dean know that he could do this. He could change his life.

They orgasmed with their tongues touching and hands heavy and hearts beating in time and Dean knew he could do this.

***

Dean woke up and smiled, he’d never slept so good in his life and the reason had its face deep in Dean’s shoulder with morning stubble scratching his skin. He softly brushed Cas’s face and Cas yawned and squinted awake.

“Hey,” he smiled and Dean felt a surge in his soul, the way Cas looked at him…he felt like Batman, Superman, Spiderman, all the mans put together. He felt like he could do anything because Cas believed in him. He could quit his job and tell his wife he no longer loved her, he could tell Cas he loved him…

“I’m gonna do it, today, I can’t hold it in anymore.” Dean thumbed Cas’s chin. “I’m going to tell her.” Cas sighed.

“Ok,” he kissed Dean softly.

“I um,” Dean had been awake a long time after Cas had fallen asleep last night and had decided what he needed to do. “I’m going to leave, I want to make a new life, a clean break,” Cas nodded. “I…um…I’m gonna ask Lisa for a divorce, I don’t love her anymore and I think after that I’m gonna need space to really find myself. That sounds hippy as shit,” Cas grinned. “I think I need to…do this alone,” he worried his lip and Cas’s face turned soft.

“I understand.”

“I mean I love you, but I don’t know if I love you or I love the gay awakening I had.” Dean fumbled with his fingers, “I feel so much for you but it isn’t fair that you get hooked with a man who has no idea who they are…”

“Dean,” Cas silenced the rambling with a kiss. “I _understand_ , go out and find yourself.”

“I can’t ask you to wait for me,” Dean looked earnestly at Cas, “I want to, you have no idea how badly I want to, but I can’t,” Cas kissed him again.

“Can you do one thing for me?” Dean nodded, “Can you send me a text or an email, just telling me that you’re happy and you are good with your life.”

“Yeah, yeah Cas I can do that.”


End file.
